if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
now i know why i became what i already was.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
