Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
