Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
