well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
