Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
