Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
