i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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