____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
