I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
