careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
