I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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