Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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