I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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