How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
