just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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