the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
nutella sex= disaster
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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