At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
