Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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