I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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