can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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