why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
