I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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