The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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