saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Dignity is for republicans.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
