Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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