Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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