not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
