it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
