no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
