Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
