return my video game
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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