drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
it glows. i had to have it.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
