Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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