you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
