saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
