things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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