Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
