You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
