He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
