Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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