took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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