Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
