went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
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