Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
