took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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