Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
