Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
