I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
