There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
