I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
it's like heaven, but drunker
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
