So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
