she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
