I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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