Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize