I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize