I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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