woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
