My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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