On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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