He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
